Respect

A few days ago my sister gave me a black wristband with thick white letters that read RESPECT. At first I thought the gift was some shallow way of her hinting to my lack of respect but then realized that this band symbolized something bigger than just me and her (even if she didn't know it).

As I glanced at the band a second time I began to wonder if respect and obedience were synonymous or not.

Whenever my siblings or I misbehave my parents call us disobedient. But isn't obedience more of a "blind listening" type of thing? Isn't it done without thinking or without choice? Whenever I think of obedience I think of the good little trained puppy who sits when his owner commands him to and is rewarded with a pet on the head or, if he's lucky, a doggie biscuit.

I don't want to be the obedient little trained puppy. I want to have my own thoughts and not only do what's right because I want a treat or reward. I want to do the right thing because it falls under my system of beliefs; whether that means following a fundamental belief without trouble (like listening to my parents because I agree with them) or letting that fundamental belief supersede a surfacing belief that may seem of utmost importance at the moment (listening to my parents even though I completely disagree). The dilemma regarding my parents comes with a great deal of uncertainty and failure, especially since I often confuse my fundamental and surfacing beliefs. However, once I succeed I know I will elevate myself to the status of respectful daughter. And respect, the act of standing strong to my fundamental beliefs even if it disregards the ones on my surface, is what I strive to live by.

So thank you sister for the wristband. Those white-on-black letters opened my mind to the difference between obedience and respect: one is for a doggie while the other is for me.